David: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Why's this Bill really long?

 

La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Why's this Bill really long?

 

It goes la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Something ...taxing two-thirds

 

La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
I wish I read all of the words

 

La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Bob: Why's this Bill really long?

 

David: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Bob: I'd like to write right along
I've heard it said with words and spending
A congressman can't go wrong

 

So la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Why's this Bill really long?

 

Both: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Gordon and Susan: Why's this Bill really long?

 

David and Bob: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Gordon and Susan: A Bill this long is just wrong!

 

Susan: It goes la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Something ...outrageous price... (rest agree)

 

Gordon: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

All: I think it repeats itself twice (all agree)

 

Maria: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Rest: Why's this Bill really long?

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Bert and Herry: A Bill this long is just wrong!

 

Bert: It's stalled...

 

Herry: Now wait...

 

Bert: I think I bought it...

 

Herry: Oh no ...

 

Both: That must be wrong

 

All: So la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Why's this Bill really long?

 

Luis: �Por qu� es este proyecto de ley muy larga? (Why's this Bill really long?)

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Oscar: Why's this Bill really long?

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum

 

Oscar: They keep on writing that long
They go la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da and then

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

Oscar: They start writing all over again

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

The Count: It needs a really big shove
La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum

 

All: La-de-da-la love!

We can't help singing la-de-da-de-dum
Loud and clear and strong

 

David: But, la-de-da-de-dum

 

Maria: La-de-da-de-dum

 

All: La-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Laaaaaaa

 

Mr. Hooper: Why's this Bill really long?

 

(all arguing)

 

David: Two thousand pages!

 

Rest: No ...

 

David: Ten thousand pages!

 

Rest: No ...

 

David: I've heard it said with words and spending
A congressman can't go wrong
But la-de-da-de-dum
La-de-da-de-dum
Why's this Bill really long?

 

 

1,990 pages

400,000 words

Weighs 20 lbs

1 ft tall

Costs 1.3 Trillion dollars over 10 years

 

 

And for those who cry “read the bill,” beware. There are plenty of paragraphs like this one:

 

“(a) Outpatient Hospitals – (1) In General – Section 1833(t)(3)(C)(iv) of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 1395(t)(3)(C)(iv)) is amended – (A) in the first sentence – (i) by inserting “(which is subject to the productivity adjustment described in subclause (II) of such section)” after “1886(b)(3)(B)(iii); and (ii) by inserting “(but not below 0)” after “reduced”; and (B) in the second sentence, by inserting “and which is subject, beginning with 2010 to the productivity adjustment described in section 1886(b)(3)(B)(iii)(II)”.

 

The section deals with “incorporating productivity improvements into market basket updates that do not already incorporate such improvements,” if that helps.

 

What you don't know can hurt you:

�  House energy and global warming bill, passed June 26, 2009. 1,200 pages. Available online 15 hours before vote.

�  $789 billion stimulus bill, passed Feb. 14, 2009. 1,100 pages. Available online 13 hours before debate.

�  $700 billion financial sector rescue package, passed Oct. 3, 2008. 169 pages. Available online 29 hours before vote.

�  USA Patriot domestic surveillance bill, passed Oct. 23, 2001. Unavailable to the public before debate.